We are often too well-mannered! Refusing requests that lead to a range of negative emotions can be difficult, mainly because we were not taught how to say “No” or don’t know how to phrase it without offending the person making the request (whether it’s professional or more personal).
However, in some situations, saying no is genuinely beneficial!
Saying “No” means setting boundaries, because we can’t handle everything in terms of time, energy, or even money, risking being overwhelmed or unable to do things properly.
Saying “No” reduces stress by avoiding work rhythms we cannot maintain, whether due to lack of desire, limited capabilities, or simply because our skills and training do not align with the request.
Saying “No” helps avoid guilt that such refusals might provoke by staying confident and effective in what truly matters: our priorities!
Here, I share the unexpected benefits you might experience once you start saying “No”…
Learning to Say No: A Matter of Fostering?
Accepting that someone may refuse (a contract, extra hours, an appointment…) demonstrates intelligence and respect—it’s only natural.
When you are the one making a request, you inherently know that the other person might decline, and they shouldn’t have to explain themselves—that’s just how it goes.
However, when we are the ones who need to refuse, guilt can creep in, challenging our self-esteem. Sometimes, there’s even an irrational fear of losing the respect of a colleague we value or the trust of an influential client.
Because of this, we may take on work we didn’t want to do, which doesn’t align with our skills, just to “please” or avoid offending the requester, mistakenly believing it will maintain trust. This can result in feeling overwhelmed, making it harder to handle what is essential or urgent, ultimately impacting work quality and professional credibility.
Moreover, this forced “yes” often brings its own share of frustration: frustration at not expressing ourselves clearly, not being heard, or involving others who then have to wait because our time is now limited.
This behavior often stems from childhood experiences and how we responded to parental “no’s” (something we can barely remember as adults). But it can also be shaped by our daily interactions with society or moments of significant pressure, such as a new job, new boss, or new clients.
Saying “No” Brings Relief!
Why burden yourself with something you didn’t want to do?
Refusing an undesirable proposal saves time for other tasks and brings a sense of relief. The world doesn’t collapse because of a polite refusal; the other party understands when it’s communicated thoughtfully.
Excessive stress arises when workloads become unmanageable. It’s clear that no one can handle everything alone, and work that is outside your area of expertise can drain your energy.
The Importance of Setting Clear Boundaries
Setting boundaries shows those around you that you are resilient and wise (because you focus on what matters instead of wasting precious time on less critical tasks) and that you have a strong character.
We should not suffer from saying “No”; it’s up to the other person to accept it and adjust.
Letting go of irrelevant emotions makes us more relaxed and fulfilled, allowing us to focus on our goals and what’s most important. This is why prioritizing is essential for daily life: it frees up time for other tasks, including responding to requests when it suits you after completing urgent matters.
Learning to Say No Without Guilt
That drive for perfection. Sometimes, it’s best to set it aside. You are not perfect, and you don’t expect perfection, only the best from your colleagues, managers, and clients. This helps foster an atmosphere of trust and excellence.
Saying “No” should not be about rejecting for the sake of it. Instead, evaluate your decision without emotional influence:
- Do you have the time to dedicate to it?
- Can you meet the request without unreasonable constraints?
- Are you the right person for the task?
- Are there more urgent tasks that should take priority?
These questions can guide you toward the best approach: accept, say “No” with a smile (it doesn’t have to be confrontational!), or direct the requester to someone more suited for the task. This way, the interaction remains constructive for everyone involved.
Have you ever experienced saying “Yes” against your will at work? How did it make you feel? Join the conversation in the comments!
Need professional support? I’ll be happy to support you!
